Letting Go of the Good for the Greater

This phrase, letting go of the good for the greater, was a teaching I received early on in my experience of New Thought. It was a stretch in the beginning getting comfortable with wanting, asking for, and expecting more, when what I had was already good. Even once we get accept the idea that it’s okay to ask for more since the supply is unlimited, it still can be hard to let go of the good.

We like the good; that’s why we consider it good. On some level, it works for us. We know it and we’re comfortable with it, so why would we let it go? Well, it may be that something even better has just presented itself to us. It may have just been newly created, like the latest Blackberry, or something we just learned about that has been around a long time. It could be that our sense of self has expanded so much that now we can imagine having something better that we couldn’t dream of having before, such as a higher level job or a bigger house in a nicer neighborhood.

It’s easier to let go of the good when the greater is right there waiting, such as accepting the new job that’s been offered. It’s a lot harder to let go of the good based just on the faith that the greater will appear. Often, though, that’s the way it works when we want to receive. In March, I let go of the Jazzercise class that I taught three times a week and loved so that I could move into new opportunities to promote my current book and write the next one. The greater is still in the process of manifesting, as you may have guessed from my last post.

The picture of this process that I get is one of having my hands full. If I’m literally holding so much stuff that I could not possibly hold anything else, I’ll have to put something down. I’m reminded of that wonderful song from Sesame Street, when Ernie asked Mr. Hoots to help him learn to play the saxophone.

I've learned a thing or two
From years of playing in a band
It's hard to play a saxophone
With something in your hand
To be a fine musician
You're gonna have to face the facts

Though you're blessed with flying fingers
When you wanna wail, you're stuck
What good are flying fingers
If they're wrapped around a duck?
Change the toy's position
If you wanna ace the sax!

You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Yeah, you gotta leave the duck alone
You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
If you wanna play the saxophone!

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sesame_street/#share

Remember What You Know

If you asked my daughters what phrase or expression I’m known for, it would be “Remember what you know!” I used to tell them this as they headed out the door to school on days they a big test scheduled. As a student of math, I used to practice this technique frequently. When I saw a problem I didn’t immediately know the answer to, I would ask myself, what do you know that could help you reason out an answer to this? It was a very effective technique and I discovered this question was helpful in all kinds of situations. Almost always I had some experience or knowledge that I could apply to handle a current challenge, when I remembered what I knew.

Not surprisingly, this admonishment is applicable when seeking to receive. What do you know about your past experiences receiving that you could use now? I recently came upon a wonderful Biblical story in 2 Maccabees where Maccabeus remembered what he knew and encouraged his troops to do the same. Scripture states, “He exhorted his troops not to fear the attack of the Gentiles, but to keep in mind the former times when help had come to them from heaven, and so to look for the victory that the Almighty would give them. Encouraging them from the law and the prophets, and reminding them also of the struggles they had won, he made them the more eager” (2 Maccabees 15: 8-9). As you can imagine, Maccabeus and his troops were victorious.

In this story, Maccabeus reminded them of the teachings they grew up with (the law and the prophets) and of the help they had received previously. What they knew entailed both book learning or studies and lessons from practical experience. Currently I’m using this same technique in my daily meditation. I am seeking additional income and am open to taking on another job as a means. There were three times in my life when wonderful jobs came to me almost effortlessly. These jobs entailed enjoyable work in my field and paid a wage far better than I’d ever received before. Remembering these experiences helps me to maintain my expectation that I can and will receive something similar again. I affirm that the right and perfect opportunity is on its way right now as I remember what I know.

Remember what you know. As a creation of the Divine, you are worthy to receive. God is waiting to bless you again, as God has many times before. Embrace these truths, remember what you know, and receive all the blessings that are waiting for you.

Stand Up and Receive Your Applause

It’s not always easy to recognize someone who has trouble receiving, but sometimes it’s obvious. A sure sign is when in a group setting certain people are asked to stand up and be recognized for something they did – complete a project, volunteer for an event, even have a birthday. Rather than just stand there and be recognized, they applaud the other people who are standing. This gets me crazy. Do they really think the other people aren’t getting enough applause, that somehow the recognition will be incomplete without theirs? Is it that they’re just an extremely thoughtful person? Maybe, but I think it’s actually that they’d rather be giving than receiving.

Think about what’s happening here. Where is the person’s attention? If they’re applauding, it’s most likely to be on the other people standing. If we don’t notice what we’re being given, we really haven’t received it. Now we’re back to the giver (those seated applauding the others) not having their gift be received. The other outcome is that other people standing see these applauding standers and they begin to feel uncomfortable – so they start applauding. I’ve seen occurrences in church where everyone is applauding: all those seated and everyone standing. It’s as if no one is being recognized.

Of course, if only one person is being recognized, they really can’t start applauding. If they did, they’d be congratulating themselves – heaven forbid! In those cases, the people who are most uncomfortable receiving don’t stand. In fact, they slump lower in their seat and look down, hoping the attention will cease. It’s painful to watch.

I challenge you to be aware of this tendency. Next time you’re called out and recognized for something, please just stand up, smile, and soak it in! Do this, if it’s just you or if it’s entire group being congratulated. If you need some help with this, join Toastmasters. One of my favorite things about this organization is that they are forever applauding someone. It’s almost always an individual, so people quickly get used to being applauded. They either have to get over their discomfort or resign themselves to feeling it frequently.

There is so much criticism in the world today. Let’s do our parts to reverse this by graciously, gratefully, and completely receiving everything we’re offered, including applause.

Want to Give More? Start Receiving!

One of my favorite spiritual resources is H. Emilie Cady’s Lessons in Truth, written in 1896. In a discussion of finding the secret place, Cady describes prayer and meditation as an opportunity to receive. It is from this practice that we receive peace, wisdom, joy, answers, and so forth. But she cautions readers not to spend too much time in this receiving mode, noting that Jesus received and then went out into the world to give.

This example got me to thinking that we cannot give what we have not received. When we think of Jesus, we typically don’t see him as a receiver, but rather as the ultimate giver. Yet he could not have given over and over if he had not taken the time to reconnect and receive from “the Father.” Scripture is filled with episodes where Jesus went apart from people to be alone and pray. He knew and demonstrated this simple truth for us: take time to receive, then you’ll be able to truly give.

According to mayoclinic.com, burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion caused by long-term exposure to demanding work situations. Burnout is the cumulative result of stress. Three of the five most likely causes of burnout directly or indirectly involve an imbalance between giving and receiving. They are: identifying so strongly with work that you lack a reasonable balance between work and your personal life, trying to be everything to everyone, and working in a helping profession, such as health care, counseling, teaching or law enforcement.

When I work with people to create greater work-life balance, it isn’t the work side that needs shoring up. Have you ever known anyone suffering from work-life imbalance who needed to work more? No, it’s usually that they’ve given so much for so long that they’re depleted. Many of these folks resist the opportunities they have to receive, exacerbating the problem. If this sounds familiar, check out my wellness blog of September 24 for ways to restore your work life balance, receive what you need, and restore your ability to give.

Taking the “Hits”

Last time we looked at the characteristics of wide receivers, people who receive for a living. Wide receivers are players on a football team that the quarterback throws the ball to. The best wide receivers are quick, agile, able to concentrate and shut out distractions, and ready and able to take a hit.

Quarterbacks depend on wide receivers for their success. If the ball is not caught, the play is incomplete and the quarterback has failed. Worse yet, if the ball is caught by the opposing team (intercepted), the quarterback has actually hurt his team. So a strong connection and effective communication between the quarterback and the wide receiver is essential. The quarterback relies on the wide receiver doing everything he can within the rules of the game to receive what the quarterback gives, the pass. Can you imagine a football game with a wide receiver who resisted receiving?

Another key component to being a competent wide receiver is the willingness and ability to take a hit. Wide receivers are the focus of the opposing team’s players. They do all they can to prevent him from receiving, and when he does, they tackle him to the ground. Can you imagine your competition at work literally taking you down after you made a sale or delivered a service? Yet that is exactly what the wide receiver endures, over and over.

Should you expect to take any hits as you receive? Quite possibly, unfortunately. It’s not uncommon for lottery winners to find they have strained or even severed relationships with greedy family members or jealous co-workers. Even after sharing their good fortune, some continue to get hit with requests, pleas, and expectations from other people, sometimes even strangers. As a human resources director, I often counseled newly promoted supervisors about how to handle “hits” they got from envious co-workers who did not get the job or simply resented a peer receiving a promotion. Likewise at work, people and teams that get attention, compliments or praise for a job well done can receive unjustified criticism from others who feel overlooked or frustrated.

I encourage you to keep the wide receiver in mind should you find yourself receiving uncalled-for hits when you receive. Remember, it’s just part of the process. The wide receiver endures the hits because he has prepared for them and expects them. He isn’t insulted or discouraged by the hits, and neither should you be. Jealously and resentment stem from scarcity thinking, and your willingness to receive is one of the best gifts you can give to heal humanity of its lack and limitation consciousness.

Characteristics of a Good Wide Receiver

Would you like to learn how to be a better receiver? Why not learn from people who do it for a living – wide receivers? According to Wikipedia, a wide receiver in American and Canadian football is the pass-catching specialist. Wide receivers are among the fastest and most agile players in the game, and they are frequently featured in the game highlights. Let’s look at what makes a good wide receiver and see if we glean any tips on how to improve our own ability to receive.

Football coaches emphasize speed as the number one quality of top wide receivers. They need to be able to get up to speed immediately and to change direction without losing speed, as well. However, if speed is not a strength, this can be offset by “precise pattern execution, complete focus on the ball when it is thrown his way, and the ability to get away from defensive players or find the holes between zone coverages” (http://www.footballscrimmage.com/articles/wide-receiver-characteristics.shtml).

To be successful, a wide receiver must be able to concentrate during each step of the play and ultimately shut all else out as he focuses on the ball coming toward him. Then he must be ready to “take a hit” after catching the ball. Finally, he must be in strong enough condition to do this over and over during the game.

Doesn’t sound very easy, does it? Considering the characteristics and skills described above in terms of receiving in general, I think agility and concentration apply the most. Recognizing that what you are seeking may appear differently than you expected requires agility in your thinking. It also may show up sooner than you think or when you least expect it, such as meeting the love of your life in the produce department of the supermarket. Staying focused on what your ultimate goal is, in spite of distractions, delays, and obstacles, is certainly a form of concentration.

As football season opens, let’s give this more thought. Next time I’ll look at the relationship between the quarterback (the give) and the wide receiver and what it means to “take a hit.”

Having Trouble Receiving? Have You Asked?

It’s seems obvious, but I need to ask. Those of you who need or want something and haven’t received it, have you asked? It’s amazing how often we feel that others should just know what we need without being told. It doesn’t work that way.

People are pulled in as many directions as you are. There are so many draws on our attention. How can we possibly expect others to just anticipate our needs? Realistically, we can’t. Even Jesus advises us to ask. “Ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened for you. Everyone who asks will receive. Everyone who searches will find. And the door will be opened for everyone who knocks” (Matthew 7:7-8, Contemporary English Version).

Sometimes the problem is that we ourselves are not clear about what we want. I remember one time when I was a human resources director having a conversation with another director. He was experiencing trouble getting his assistant to offer the administrative support he desired. I asked him if she knew what he wanted. He thought for a moment and said, “no.” The way he responded prompted me to ask him if he knew what he wanted from her, and again he thought for few seconds and replied, “not really.” It’s no surprise then that she wasn’t able to meet his needs.

What is it you seek? It could be as simple as the opportunity to state your views, have some quiet time, or get some help with the dishes. Maybe it’s how you spend your birthday or Father’s Day. Or it could be something grander, such as a life partner or new career. Whatever it is, get clear about what you want first. Then determine to whom you need to make your request. Telling John that Susie doesn’t let you get a word in edgewise will not help – tell Susie! Stating our needs and desires is very empowering for us and very helpful for those around us. Give it a try. You might be surprised how willing people are to fulfill your request.