I’m finally starting to figure out that I cannot expect to get what I pray for. Over the years, I’ve gotten the impression that prayers do work, although sometimes it may take a while. I suspect there was more to my spiritual teachers’ messages that I was overlooking. The way I now believe it works is this: you do not get what you pray for. You get what you believe you will get.
Jesus actually made this clear on several occasions. “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer” (Matt 21:22) is one example. Notice the statement starts with the qualifying point. However, being so action oriented in our culture, it’s much easier for most of us to pray than to believe.
Can’t we just keep asking and believe after we’ve received? I’ve tried this approach for years, without much success. Occasionally I have received things I never thought I would. Rev. Lei Lanni Burt explains that there is always more with God. I like to think of these blessings as encouragement from God, because it is easier to believe when we have received in the past.
To receive what we desire, let’s first stop and examine what we believe. When you start a new treatment plan, make a different choice or try something new, are you skeptical? When the results don’t come, do you find yourself thinking, “I knew it wouldn’t work”? If you catch yourself in doubt, spend time considering what thoughts you could hold that would build your belief. You may want to read my blog post from October 10, 2010 – Remember What You Know to help you create your own list of times you have received. Finally, consider making your first prayer one for greater faith.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
The Third of Three Power Practices for Receiving - Giving
I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that there are three power practices for enhancing our ability to receive: gratitude and forgiveness were the first two, and the third is to give. I guarantee you that if you give from your heart and there is someone willing to receive it, you will receive something. At the very least, I know you will receive the joy of having given. I believe, deep down, that’s the reason most people who love to give do so – because it feels good! Being appreciated, helping another person, using our talents to bless others, these are all things that fulfill and reward us.
This weekend I go again to the women’s prison in Perryville, AZ to conduct a couple of my wellness workshops. Every six months when my schedule permits I meet with about 20 inmates who are due to be released within the next six months or so. We discuss ways they can eat well, be active, and balance their lives so that they can be physically well as they transition to life on the outside again. While there is no monetary compensation for my efforts, the emotional rewards are abundant. The women hang on my every word. They are SO appreciative that I’ve given up my Saturday morning for them. They teach me a wonderful lesson in the power of gratitude. That’s partly why I know gratitude is a power practice for receiving. In reality, I haven’t given up anything for them. I receive so much fulfillment, respect, and joy from my visits that I come out receiving far more than I give.
It’s critical to remember that when giving we must do so from a spirit of love and generosity. We do not give so that we can receive. We give because we have something (time, attention, money, talent, expertise, etc.) that would bless another. We give because we have received in the past and feels right and good to take our turn to give. We do not give until it hurts or because we feel obligated. We give because we are so grateful for what we have that we naturally want others to be blessed by it as well.
It’s been a pleasure sharing these three power practices for receiving with you. I hope you find them to be as effective as I have. For more on enhancing your ability to receive, you can view all my blog posts here.
This weekend I go again to the women’s prison in Perryville, AZ to conduct a couple of my wellness workshops. Every six months when my schedule permits I meet with about 20 inmates who are due to be released within the next six months or so. We discuss ways they can eat well, be active, and balance their lives so that they can be physically well as they transition to life on the outside again. While there is no monetary compensation for my efforts, the emotional rewards are abundant. The women hang on my every word. They are SO appreciative that I’ve given up my Saturday morning for them. They teach me a wonderful lesson in the power of gratitude. That’s partly why I know gratitude is a power practice for receiving. In reality, I haven’t given up anything for them. I receive so much fulfillment, respect, and joy from my visits that I come out receiving far more than I give.
It’s critical to remember that when giving we must do so from a spirit of love and generosity. We do not give so that we can receive. We give because we have something (time, attention, money, talent, expertise, etc.) that would bless another. We give because we have received in the past and feels right and good to take our turn to give. We do not give until it hurts or because we feel obligated. We give because we are so grateful for what we have that we naturally want others to be blessed by it as well.
It’s been a pleasure sharing these three power practices for receiving with you. I hope you find them to be as effective as I have. For more on enhancing your ability to receive, you can view all my blog posts here.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Second of Three Power Practices for Receiving - Forgiveness
Last time I talked about the first power practice to enhance our ability to receive – gratitude. Today let’s consider the second – forgiveness. Withholding forgiveness from ourselves or another person is detrimental to our intention to receive. The flow of blessings into our lives gets blocked by resentment, hurt, anger and unforgiveness. It’s like stepping on a fire hose: until we step off by forgiving the ourselves or the other individual, the flow is cut off.
If you’re reading this article, you probably realize this already. So just how do we go about forgiving? Last week I attended the annual International New Thought Alliance Congress held here in Phoenix. Although I’ve heard many people speak on forgiveness, at the Congress two key points were made by Rev. Sheila McKeithen. She stated that forgiveness does not mean that we condone the other person’s actions nor does it require that we reconcile with them. If you find it difficult to even get started forgiving someone, try to keep these two thoughts in mind. She also pointed out that we don’t have to forget (and perhaps we shouldn’t), but we do need to forgive, for our own well-being.
A participant at the Congress also had an interesting practice he used to forgive those who have hurt him deeply. He said he imagines gathering a group of people he loves the most together for a photo. He envisions them all together and then places the person he wants to forgive in the center, because “that’s where they belong.” I tried it and found it quite effective. I was able to see the person in the center as I knew they could be, not as they showed up in their error thinking and misdirected behavior.
Finally, when I need to forgive someone, I frequently use a technique taught by Rev. Lei Lanni Burt of Light and Love Ministries. She has a three-step process: 1) separate the being from the behavior (I think the photo idea will be helpful with this), 2) remember that we don’t know the whole story (we don’t always know our own story or why we do what we do, so how could we possibly know what’s really going on with them?), and 3) ask God for help. Over the years, I’ve found this method to be simple and powerful.
Like gratitude, this is a big topic with many practices. My book includes others if you’d like more suggestions. Remember that letting go of blame, shame and hurt will enable you to stay in place of joy and peace where more good will be naturally drawn to you. That’s a great place to be!
If you’re reading this article, you probably realize this already. So just how do we go about forgiving? Last week I attended the annual International New Thought Alliance Congress held here in Phoenix. Although I’ve heard many people speak on forgiveness, at the Congress two key points were made by Rev. Sheila McKeithen. She stated that forgiveness does not mean that we condone the other person’s actions nor does it require that we reconcile with them. If you find it difficult to even get started forgiving someone, try to keep these two thoughts in mind. She also pointed out that we don’t have to forget (and perhaps we shouldn’t), but we do need to forgive, for our own well-being.
A participant at the Congress also had an interesting practice he used to forgive those who have hurt him deeply. He said he imagines gathering a group of people he loves the most together for a photo. He envisions them all together and then places the person he wants to forgive in the center, because “that’s where they belong.” I tried it and found it quite effective. I was able to see the person in the center as I knew they could be, not as they showed up in their error thinking and misdirected behavior.
Finally, when I need to forgive someone, I frequently use a technique taught by Rev. Lei Lanni Burt of Light and Love Ministries. She has a three-step process: 1) separate the being from the behavior (I think the photo idea will be helpful with this), 2) remember that we don’t know the whole story (we don’t always know our own story or why we do what we do, so how could we possibly know what’s really going on with them?), and 3) ask God for help. Over the years, I’ve found this method to be simple and powerful.
Like gratitude, this is a big topic with many practices. My book includes others if you’d like more suggestions. Remember that letting go of blame, shame and hurt will enable you to stay in place of joy and peace where more good will be naturally drawn to you. That’s a great place to be!
Friday, July 15, 2011
The First of Three Power Practices for Receiving - Gratitude
I’ve been studying and doing my best to live New Thought teachings for over a decade now. As I explore this area of receiving, I’ve come to recognize that there are three power practices for receiving that my spiritual teachers consistently stress. When used regularly and with the right consciousness, these practices cannot fail to enhance your ability to receive.
The first is gratitude. “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you” the apostle Paul wrote to the Thessalonians (1 Thes 5:18). Simple enough to understand but not at all easy to do! How does one feel grateful all the time and why is it a power practice for receiving? Many books have been written on the subject, but let me highlight a few key points as I’ve come to understand them:
• Thankfulness has been and still is universally recognized as a life-enhancing practice by all major religions, spiritual teachers, philosophers, and self-help gurus. A Google search on “gratitude” generates over 58 million hits.
• Practicing gratitude in all circumstances is humbling. Most people believe in a benevolent higher power of some sort, and being grateful acknowledges this overriding goodness, even when we can’t see it and despite appearances to the contrary.
• Being grateful for what we have takes our focus off of what we don’t have, but want. It lifts our spirits, encourages those around us, and opens the way for more good to flow.
• What we appreciate appreciates. As a wellness consultant, I learned a long time ago that I had to love my body first. Caring for it would then come naturally and be easier than when I criticized my body. My self-care would then cause improvements in my body, giving me even more to appreciate about it. Appreciation and gratitude create an upward spiral of greater value and gratitude, creating even more good.
• Being grateful now prevents regret later. After Mom died and Dad moved to Phoenix, I knew my time with him was limited. I made a conscious choice to appreciate every day I had with him. Now that he’s passed, I am so grateful that I was grateful! I knew those times were precious, and I can look back on them with peace of mind and thankfulness, not regret that I didn’t know what I had.
• Along those lines, when circumstances are challenging, there is always someone going through greater difficulty than I. My bank account may not be overflowing at the moment, but I have a wonderful home and husband, excellent health and a sound mind, and a growing faith – and I live in this land of freedom and opportunity. What’s not to be grateful for?
I could continue, but I imagine you get the point. To quote German theologian, philosopher and mystic Meister Eckhart, “If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is "thank you," that would suffice.”
The first is gratitude. “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you” the apostle Paul wrote to the Thessalonians (1 Thes 5:18). Simple enough to understand but not at all easy to do! How does one feel grateful all the time and why is it a power practice for receiving? Many books have been written on the subject, but let me highlight a few key points as I’ve come to understand them:
• Thankfulness has been and still is universally recognized as a life-enhancing practice by all major religions, spiritual teachers, philosophers, and self-help gurus. A Google search on “gratitude” generates over 58 million hits.
• Practicing gratitude in all circumstances is humbling. Most people believe in a benevolent higher power of some sort, and being grateful acknowledges this overriding goodness, even when we can’t see it and despite appearances to the contrary.
• Being grateful for what we have takes our focus off of what we don’t have, but want. It lifts our spirits, encourages those around us, and opens the way for more good to flow.
• What we appreciate appreciates. As a wellness consultant, I learned a long time ago that I had to love my body first. Caring for it would then come naturally and be easier than when I criticized my body. My self-care would then cause improvements in my body, giving me even more to appreciate about it. Appreciation and gratitude create an upward spiral of greater value and gratitude, creating even more good.
• Being grateful now prevents regret later. After Mom died and Dad moved to Phoenix, I knew my time with him was limited. I made a conscious choice to appreciate every day I had with him. Now that he’s passed, I am so grateful that I was grateful! I knew those times were precious, and I can look back on them with peace of mind and thankfulness, not regret that I didn’t know what I had.
• Along those lines, when circumstances are challenging, there is always someone going through greater difficulty than I. My bank account may not be overflowing at the moment, but I have a wonderful home and husband, excellent health and a sound mind, and a growing faith – and I live in this land of freedom and opportunity. What’s not to be grateful for?
I could continue, but I imagine you get the point. To quote German theologian, philosopher and mystic Meister Eckhart, “If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is "thank you," that would suffice.”
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Update on Receiving Our New Home
Last December I told you about my desire to sell our home, one I purchased before I met Roger, so that we could purchase a home together. We’ve made great progress in five months.
We spent the first four and a half months of 2011 updating our home: replacing the air conditioners; painting almost the entire inside; installing granite countertops, new cupboards, stainless steel appliances, and an under-mount sink; replacing the light fixtures throughout the house; and removing the old spa and gazebo. Roger did as much of this work as he could and hired and managed numerous contractors to do the rest. His vision and attention to detail have been such a blessing to me!
Meanwhile, I’ve done what I can to support him while daily holding space for what we want. I bless the new owners; I don’t know who they are, but God does. I ask God to guide us in making choices that will suit the buyers’ tastes and needs. I also daily bless those who are preparing our new house for us. I affirm perfect timing with the sale of our current house and the purchase of our new house. I see both transactions happening with grace and ease for all parties. When progress slowed with the renovations, I reminded myself that God has the timing worked out perfectly. I also followed the advice of the manager of a Catholic bookstore and have an image of St. Joseph in the front window, not buried upside down, as many suggest. “It’s your faith that will sell your house,” she stated, and I believe her.
Our house officially went on the market May 25, and we have had over six showings. The feedback is great. Today we viewed several homes, beginning our house hunt in earnest. To clear the way for us to release this house and buy our next, we meet with our mortgage broker next week to secure financing. This last step will show the Universe that we have done all we can and are ready to receive!
We spent the first four and a half months of 2011 updating our home: replacing the air conditioners; painting almost the entire inside; installing granite countertops, new cupboards, stainless steel appliances, and an under-mount sink; replacing the light fixtures throughout the house; and removing the old spa and gazebo. Roger did as much of this work as he could and hired and managed numerous contractors to do the rest. His vision and attention to detail have been such a blessing to me!
Meanwhile, I’ve done what I can to support him while daily holding space for what we want. I bless the new owners; I don’t know who they are, but God does. I ask God to guide us in making choices that will suit the buyers’ tastes and needs. I also daily bless those who are preparing our new house for us. I affirm perfect timing with the sale of our current house and the purchase of our new house. I see both transactions happening with grace and ease for all parties. When progress slowed with the renovations, I reminded myself that God has the timing worked out perfectly. I also followed the advice of the manager of a Catholic bookstore and have an image of St. Joseph in the front window, not buried upside down, as many suggest. “It’s your faith that will sell your house,” she stated, and I believe her.
Our house officially went on the market May 25, and we have had over six showings. The feedback is great. Today we viewed several homes, beginning our house hunt in earnest. To clear the way for us to release this house and buy our next, we meet with our mortgage broker next week to secure financing. This last step will show the Universe that we have done all we can and are ready to receive!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Time to Remember What I Know Again
Several weeks ago I wrote about how I remembered wonderful jobs I’d received and used the memories to call in a new, fabulous job. I’m happy to report that I’ve completed my formal training period and am enjoying the job as much as ever. Having been so successful with this approach, I’ve decided to use it again – this time to sell our house.
Roger and I have set the intention to move into our own home in 2011. We currently live in the house I bought with my daughters’ father some 12 years ago. After moving everyone in our families, most more than once, since we’ve been together, we’ve decided it’s time for us to have the house of our dreams, one that suits our current lifestyle.
The house we live in has many great features such as big bedrooms, lots of closet space, a lovely waterfall, and a central location. It’s easy to imagine a family moving in and being very happy here, just as we were 12 years ago. So to bolster my confidence that we can find the right and perfect buyer, I am recalling other houses I’ve owned and sold. The first house I owned had to be sold as part of a divorce, and it sold with little effort, for the price I wanted. The next house sold at the perfect time as we were moving from upstate New York to Las Vegas. I remember sitting between my realtor and attorney at the closing (a big affair in New York State), being well cared for despite the demanding buyers.
Our house in Vegas was more challenging to sell. It had no landscaping in the backyard and would flood through the flower boxes when heavy rains hit. After six months on the market and no activity, we decided to fire our realtor and hire another that had been referred to me. She recognized favorable aspects of the house the other realtor had overlooked and ended up selling the house to one of her own buyers on Christmas Eve! The couple wanted the house because of its location and was unconcerned about the flooding since they planned on tearing out the flower boxes anyway. I can remember the excitement of getting that offer, such a wonderful Christmas gift.
So now I spend time each week remembering these events and feeling the happiness and relief of each sale. I know if the house in Vegas can sell at Christmas, our house can sell now. I consider every sold sign I see around town as the Universe encouraging me. The buyer has already been identified. Our new house is already built and being prepared for us to move in. I need to remember what I know, feel the feelings again, and take it one day at a time. I’ll let you know when we sell.
Roger and I have set the intention to move into our own home in 2011. We currently live in the house I bought with my daughters’ father some 12 years ago. After moving everyone in our families, most more than once, since we’ve been together, we’ve decided it’s time for us to have the house of our dreams, one that suits our current lifestyle.
The house we live in has many great features such as big bedrooms, lots of closet space, a lovely waterfall, and a central location. It’s easy to imagine a family moving in and being very happy here, just as we were 12 years ago. So to bolster my confidence that we can find the right and perfect buyer, I am recalling other houses I’ve owned and sold. The first house I owned had to be sold as part of a divorce, and it sold with little effort, for the price I wanted. The next house sold at the perfect time as we were moving from upstate New York to Las Vegas. I remember sitting between my realtor and attorney at the closing (a big affair in New York State), being well cared for despite the demanding buyers.
Our house in Vegas was more challenging to sell. It had no landscaping in the backyard and would flood through the flower boxes when heavy rains hit. After six months on the market and no activity, we decided to fire our realtor and hire another that had been referred to me. She recognized favorable aspects of the house the other realtor had overlooked and ended up selling the house to one of her own buyers on Christmas Eve! The couple wanted the house because of its location and was unconcerned about the flooding since they planned on tearing out the flower boxes anyway. I can remember the excitement of getting that offer, such a wonderful Christmas gift.
So now I spend time each week remembering these events and feeling the happiness and relief of each sale. I know if the house in Vegas can sell at Christmas, our house can sell now. I consider every sold sign I see around town as the Universe encouraging me. The buyer has already been identified. Our new house is already built and being prepared for us to move in. I need to remember what I know, feel the feelings again, and take it one day at a time. I’ll let you know when we sell.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Shift Your Perspective
While I generally love New Thought teachings, I have to admit they get me a bit crazy sometimes. One notion that comes to mind when I think about receiving is that in order to manifest something we need we have to stop wanting it, and then it will come to us. To me, that’s like telling a hungry person to stop wanting food so he can get some! I don’t know how to stop wanting what I need, such as enough money to pay my bills.
Now I’ve heard this suggestion more than once, and I usually dismiss it. Recently though I read a wonderful article about perspective by Joanna Blum that enabled me to appreciate this advice. She uses the analogy of a camera and the way the photographer looks through the viewfinder and centers on one particular object. In doing so, the other things in the frame do not disappear; they just become blurry, while the object of interest remains clear. Suddenly, I had a different interpretation of “not wanting.” I didn’t have to stop wanting what I needed. I could allow it to stay in the frame and shift my focus to be on what I do have. I did not have to pretend that I didn’t need the money to support myself. My needs did not have to go away; I could still acknowledge their blurry presence, but keep myself centered in gratitude for the money I do have.
This changed perspective has created a new practice for me. When I find myself thinking about a need or desire I have, I gently acknowledge it. Then I imagine seeing it in a viewfinder and shifting my aim off of it and onto something wonderful that I have. I feel grateful for that and trust that all else is being provided for me.
Now I’ve heard this suggestion more than once, and I usually dismiss it. Recently though I read a wonderful article about perspective by Joanna Blum that enabled me to appreciate this advice. She uses the analogy of a camera and the way the photographer looks through the viewfinder and centers on one particular object. In doing so, the other things in the frame do not disappear; they just become blurry, while the object of interest remains clear. Suddenly, I had a different interpretation of “not wanting.” I didn’t have to stop wanting what I needed. I could allow it to stay in the frame and shift my focus to be on what I do have. I did not have to pretend that I didn’t need the money to support myself. My needs did not have to go away; I could still acknowledge their blurry presence, but keep myself centered in gratitude for the money I do have.
This changed perspective has created a new practice for me. When I find myself thinking about a need or desire I have, I gently acknowledge it. Then I imagine seeing it in a viewfinder and shifting my aim off of it and onto something wonderful that I have. I feel grateful for that and trust that all else is being provided for me.
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