How Full is Your Box?

If you’ve ever read The Prayer of Jabez, you’re familiar with the fable about the man who goes to heaven and discovers a warehouse filled with boxes of unclaimed blessings. Author Bruce Wilkinson says that the blessings could have been given while the man was alive if only he’d asked for them. I would agree with that and take it one step further. I say that there are more blessings available for us if we are willing and able to receive them.

I think there must be more to it than just asking, because I know lots of people who ask and don’t receive, myself included. Jesus said, “If you have faith when you pray, you will be given whatever you ask for” (Matthew 21:22 CEV). This would explain what happens with some folks: they don’t really believe they’ll get it, so they don’t. It’s not as harsh as it sounds. Asking without believing is really half-hearted asking, and when is any half-hearted attempt truly successful?

I’ve heard it said that if you can’t imagine it, you can’t have it. Is failure to believe all about a lack of faith in God? Perhaps, but not always. I can think of many people who do believe God is good and quite capable, but who can’t imagine that much good coming to them. My mother was that way. She lived the last ten years of her life in increasing physical pain, and eventually I don’t think she could imagine her life without it. What explains her failure to heal? Did she ask for healing but was unable to imagine it, or did she stop asking altogether because being pain free was beyond her imagination? I’ll never know in this lifetime, because she passed away at just 74.

So we have to ask and we have to believe that the answer will be “yes.” Is that all there is to it? I don’t think so, at least that’s the premise of my book. While both of these steps are necessary, they may not be sufficient. We have to ask and believe and then be open to receiving the blessing, however and whenever it comes. As I’ve pointed out before, there are times when the answer is right in front of us, but we’re looking for something else and miss it. Next time I’ll tell you the story of the gorilla in the basketball game to illustrate my point. Until then, ask (and make it big- it’s okay, the Universe is unlimited), believe, and then be open. Let’s start emptying the box and begin receiving right now!

Why We Need to Be Skillful Receivers

Do you think it’s important to learn to receive comfortably, with grace and ease? Or do you believe that as long as you’re a good giver, that’s all that really matters? After thinking about this for several months now, I’ve concluded that we absolutely must learn to receive well. We simply cannot provide all we need to ourselves by ourselves. We must rely on others, so receiving is not an option. And because giving and receiving go hand-in-hand, the more we give, the more we will be confronted with receiving. Why not accept it and receive the good that comes your way with gratitude and joy.

Prosperity guru and Unity minister, Catherine Ponder, explains in her classic book, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity, that to live without prosperity is to live abnormally. This intrigued me the first time I read it. She says we cannot live fully on the physical, mental, or spiritual planes of life without prosperity. To live completely we need a roof over our heads and food to eat; rest and recreation; satisfying, creative mental pursuits that incorporate books, art, music, and travel; and quiet time for prayer, meditation, and association with others on our spiritual path. As I thought about it, this made sense to me. I believe that God created us, that God is good all the time, and that God wants only the highest and best for us, as any loving parent does for his or her children. So of course God wants us to live fully in every sense of our lives. And to do all the things I just listed, we must be able to receive the good things that come our way.

Another reason to learn to receive well is so we can develop our perception of life and God accurately. We may say that we believe God meets our every need, but if we don’t receive what’s provided, our needs will not be met and our faith will be shaken. It’s like that popular story preachers tell about the faith-filled old man who got caught in a flood. As the water rose, he stood on his front steps and turned down an offer to climb into a row boat, saying that God would save him. With the waters rising, from the balcony of his second floor, he again refused a ride in a motor boat, asserting the same belief. Finally, standing on his rooftop he motioned a helicopter away, certain that God would save him. Eventually he stood at the gates of heaven where God greeted him. “What happened?” the man asked incredulously. “You tell me,” God replied. “I sent a row boat, a motor boat, and a helicopter!”

To get what we need and want and live the life God intended, we must be more than filled with faith. We must cultivate the ability to receive well.

The Discomfort of Receiving

Does it seem strange to you that there would be a blog and book written about receiving? If you look on Amazon.com, you will find many titles on giving and receiving, but none on just receiving. Well, to be accurate, this one also won’t be just about receiving either, because we can’t really look at receiving without talking about giving. They are two sides of the same coin. But, our emphasis will be on receiving. Why is that? Because most people have been taught that “it’s better to give than to receive,” so they conclude that giving is preferred. If you think about this, it just doesn’t make sense. For every giver, there has to be a receiver – otherwise, giving could not take place!

Unfortunately, the “God loves a cheerful giver” message has been so engrained in people that they just can’t get truly comfortable with receiving. It’s not unusual for people to be ill at ease receiving the most basic things, such as a complement or a free lunch. I remember witnessing an argument between two co-workers (who happened to be cousins, incidentally) about $3 one had gifted to the other. The receiver insisted on paying her co-worker back, and the giver kept refusing. This went on for several minutes until they were both angry.

What was really happening here? Were they each so uncomfortable receiving that having an argument in front of their office mates was preferable? Did each selfishly desire to have the good feelings we get when we give? Was one or both afraid of owing the other something in return? We’ll never know, but clearly they failed to realize that when they receive they are actually also giving – they give the other party the opportunity to be the giver and feel good about it.

This discomfort with receiving blocks many people from getting what they desire and sometimes even what they need. Prayers are answered in so many ways; we need to stay alert and open to receiving the answer and the blessing in whatever form it comes. I could go on and on, and I will, so stay with me.