Is It Hard for You to Receive?

This week I’ve had two conversations with people about how hard it is to receive. Does this sound like you? Surely we can’t do it all alone. There’s too much to do and too much to know to accomplish all we need to without help. Even if we have the financial means to pay someone to do something for us (so we’re exchanging, not receiving), often we rely on someone to give us a referral to the expert we need.

Have you noticed that the longer you live, the more you realize that you cannot do it by yourself? Does that mean it gets easier to receive help when we’re sick or unemployed or to accept encouragement when we’re discouraged? Not always, according to the people I talk to. As we gain experience, many of us think we should be better equipped to take care of ourselves. We reason that others, particularly those less experienced than we, should be coming to us for assistance. Perhaps we received help when were young, and now we feel it’s time to give back. Often I’ve observed that people feel better about themselves when they’re giving rather than receiving. For some, giving is an outright ego trip while for others, it provides a needed boost to their diminished self esteem.

When you find life difficult, I urge you to reflect on whether you are able to receive in that moment. In our abundant universe, expect that your needs will be met. Open yourself up to what is right before you and be willing to receive it. Remember, your doing so will usually afford the giver a shot of self esteem, and it might be just what they need.

Get Ready to Receive

“Man must prepare for the thing he has asked for, when there isn’t the slightest sign of it in sight.” Florence Scovel Shinn

In 1925, teacher and metaphysician Florence Scovel Shinn advised her clients to get ready to receive whenever they needed or desired something. For instance, she had them buy a wallet when they needed money. This advice has stayed with me over the years, and it paid off in a big way for me recently.

My husband and I recently bought a home together and decided to lease the house we’d been living in, one that I owned before I knew him. When we first put the house up for lease, we were flooded with interest, but had nowhere to go. We took the house off the market until we found our new home, only to find potential lessees had dwindled when we put my home back up for lease just several weeks later. We moved forward and closed on our new home without a tenant for the first property.

The weekend after our move, we went to our old house to do the final cleaning. As we were working, I kept “calling in” our tenants. I told them I was blessing our home and preparing it just for them. I imagined that whoever these people were they would be as happy in the home as I had been. As my husband and I were finishing, our realtor pulled up. She had scheduled a showing, thinking we wouldn’t be there. We concluded just in time, and those folks ended up loving our home and signing the lease just four days later, exactly when we had hoped to have it leased!

I am convinced that Shinn is right: we must be ready to receive in order to do so. Have you done all you can to prepare for your deepest desire?

A New Take on a Lenten Practice

It’s Lent, the 40-day period before Easter. It began this year on February 22 and will end with Easter Sunday on April 8. Historically many Christians adopt special practices during Lent, particularly around fasting. When I was young, we were encouraged to “give something up” as a way of sacrificing, similar to Jesus’ sacrifice (well, not exactly since it was hardly comparable, but you get the idea). Chocolate, dessert, and other treats were commonly selected from which to abstain, and for years I followed suit.

In more recent years, my spiritual communities have suggested to members that we give up habits and behaviors that do not serve us, such as complaining, feeling guilty, or blaming others. If you’ve never tried it, I encourage you to. Eliminating any of these will enhance your ability to receive. This year, I’ve committed to being aware of my tendency to want just enough (which is the result of holding a fear that I won’t have enough of whatever I need). This Lent I affirm that I have plenty, plenty, plenty – of time, energy, money, clients, new ideas, opportunities to serve and be blessed, and so forth.

What would it serve to give up this Lent? Is there a fear-based habit that prevents you from receiving all the good that’s available to you? Give up chocolate, if you must, and also give some thought to going a bit deeper for an even greater result.

The Many Forms of Receiving

One of my favorite prosperity teachers is the Rev. Edwene Gaines. She has made a 100% commitment to the transformation of the abundance consciousness of the world. A question she likes to ask people is this: Would you be willing to consider the possibility that God has ways of blessing you that you don’t already know about? Isn’t that a great question? So often when I think about receiving I get stuck on how I think it will show up. But God, being infinite, has an infinite number of ways to bring my good to me.

I recently heard a great example of a seemingly unthinkable way someone was blessed. A major hotel in Phoenix had booked a wedding for a local couple. After the date was confirmed, a large group approached the hotel about booking an event the same weekend. To hold accommodate the group, the entire hotel would be needed. The revenue from this group would far exceed that of the wedding, so the hotel arranged to move the wedding to the beautiful Wrigley Mansion, completely at the hotel’s expense. Can you imagine having your entire wedding paid for and held at the Wrigley Mansion? Do you think this was a possibility the couple ever considered?

To be a skillful receiver, it’s important to remember that we can receive in an infinite number of ways. It’s fine to visualize something good, but be sure to be open to something different and even better. Let’s receive with grace and ease every good thing the Universe has for us.

Are You Ready to Receive?

When you think about receiving, does it seem like a no-brainer? Of course I’m ready to receive! Who wouldn’t want to receive? It sure seemed that way to me…until I started really thinking about it, especially when things don’t show up the way I expect them to. It’s easy to imagine gratefully receiving a four-day weekend trip to San Diego. But what about when the planned two-night trip turns into a four-night stay due to car trouble? I found that it was not very easy to receive the extra two-days exploring San Diego. Worry about missing work, getting coverage for my Jazzercise class, and paying for the car repairs crowded out my enjoyment of the good things that came. I was stuck there, one way or another, so why not enjoy it? Thankfully my husband, Roger, is a skillful receiver who really lives life to the fullest. He filled our time with wonderful adventures, and I ended up receiving much more than I would have managed to on my own.

It isn’t just vacations that trigger these anxious feelings of worry and guilt. I remember feeling the same way when Roger and I were given tickets to a great show at the last minute, so I had to quit work a bit earlier that day than I had planned. It might be the unexpected call from an out-of-town friend who can only see you that day or the networking event that would take you away from the office, but give you the social interaction you’ve been craving.

I encourage you to be aware when you feel constricted and anxious about the opportunity to receive. Just recognizing your reaction can help you identify its source, allowing you move past the feelings and truly open yourself to receiving all that the universe has for you.

My VA Job – A Parking Lot Success Story

Last week, I wrote about using the idea of a parking lot to place thoughts or needs that we have but can’t do anything about at the moment. I had a wonderful experience with this practice and how a need was met easily in a way that amazed me.

When I was in college, it was a struggle each year to find a summer job. The summer I was 20, I got a temporary child care position that was scheduled to last only two weeks. At the start of the second week when nothing else was showing up, I remember placing the matter in God’s hands, the ultimate parking lot! I had applied everywhere I knew to, and so I told God that we both knew if I didn’t have a job that summer, I couldn’t go back to school in the fall. Then I let it go. Two days later I got a call from the manager of the Veterans Administration Outpatient Clinic in Rochester. He found my name on a list and had an opening for a clerk-typist. I had completely forgotten that I took a civil service test for summer jobs the previous winter!

The next day I went in for the interview. The manager, Joe, asked me if I could type. I said “yes,” and he replied, “You’ve got the job!” It was that easy. And the job paid three times what I had made the year before at a fast food restaurant! In addition, I worked in a nice office during the day, M – F, a far cry from working the nasty fryers six days a week the previous summer. Joe and the others were terrific to work for, and Joe ended up coming to my wedding a couple years later.

Keep the parking lot in mind. It beats stewing over something you can’t change, and it may just be the answer you’re seeking.

The Parking Lot

Most people think of cars when they hear the phrase “parking lot.” As a trainer, the phrase has an additional meaning. During a workshop, when participants bring up a relevant issue that we cannot address at that moment, I put the item in the parking lot. I label a flip chart page “Parking Lot” and post the item there, so it won’t be forgotten. This way the group can let the issue go for the time being, and I don’t forget to follow up on it later.

There are times when it would be helpful to carry this practice into our personal lives. When you have an idea you don’t want to forget, but can’t act on right away, start a parking lot list and note it there. Just as parking lots have specified sections such as valet or handicapped, you can label parts of the page by topic, such as home or family.

We can also use this technique when we become aware of a need that we don’t know how to meet. If there isn’t an action you can take in the moment, don’t worry or stew about it. Place the need in the parking lot. This lets you and the Universe know it’s important, but can’t be handled right now. Then turn your attention to an affirmation such as “All my needs are met in a perfect way at the right time.” Take a moment and remember a time when a need was met and recall how good that felt. Then get back to the business at hand. The item in the parking lot will be there, ready for attention when the time is right.