Who’s in Control?

“You can’t be surprised, you can’t be tickled if you try to control it.” Dr. Joseph Dispenza

It seems to me that there is a debate in the New Thought community about whose will we should be focused on.  Does God have a plan for my life (the traditional Christian view) or is it up to me to make the plan and God will say “yes” (Edwene Gaines and Terry McBride teach this)? Unity appears to take a middle of the road approach saying that we co-create our lives with God  and should be specific in our prayer requests but add “this or something better” at the end.  I must admit, after reflecting on this question for years, I’m still on the fence.

Most of the time, though, I see it as a bit of both - that God’s will and my will really are the same, although I may not know it.  For the most part, all any of us really want is to be happy.  (It’s what will make us happy that we’re often unclear about.)  I believe God wants us to be happy, too, so we really do both want the same thing.  When it comes to receiving, I suspect we’ll do best when we dwell on the feelings we want to have, such as happiness, rather than on the specifics of how to accomplish those feelings.  I’ll leave you with this little poem I came upon years ago and still have memorized:

As a child brings her broken toy with tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dream to God, because he was my friend.

But soon I snatched it back and cried, “how can you be so slow?”

“My child,” He said, “what could I do?  You never did let go.”

Skate Slowly and Carefully

This phrase came back to me recently: All skate slowly and carefully.  The invitation would come booming over the loud speaker at the roller skating rink, calling us all back onto the floor after a special skate had ended.  This was a welcome request then, and I realize it applies now when we’re striving to receive.  Let’s all keep going, moving slowly and carefully.

With 4G speed and instant access, we have become an impatient society.  It’s easy to get frustrated when things don’t manifest as quickly as we need or would like them to.  We see no progress and assume nothing is happening.  Without allowing time for the universe to work things out on our behalf, we abandon our efforts and scramble to try a different approach.  What we needed to do was “skate slowly and carefully,” continuing our efforts despite appearances. 

I remember giving this advice to my Weight Watcher members when they would fail to lose weight.  They would claim they’d hit the dreaded weight-loss plateau because one week they didn’t lose weight.  In the weight loss world, any period of maintenance shorter than three weeks is just business as usual.  A plateau is not called until they’d gone three weeks without a loss.  Thankfully, with encouragement, most were able to keep “skating” and soon found they were truly making progress toward their goal.  How about you?

The Law of Substitution

Is there something you desire to receive?  Maybe more than one something?  If so, you may find it easier to receive if you know the law of substitution.  I first learned about this law from New Thought author Florence Scovel Shinn in the Game of Life and How to Play It, which she self-published in 1925.

Ms. Shinn tells the story of a woman who was interested in having a certain man fall in love with her.  The woman asked Ms. Shinn to treat (pray) for this.  The author agreed to pray for divine selection, the man who was meant to be hers by divine right.  If this particular man was intended to be her partner, it would be so.  The woman made no progress with this gentleman, but did attract another with whom she fall in love and experienced great happiness.  As Ms. Shinn explained, “This shows the law of substitution.  A right idea was substituted for a wrong one, therefore there was no loss or sacrifice involved.”

Along these lines, many spiritual teachers state that being specific in our prayers is fine, as long as we add “this or something better” to our request.  This addition allows the law of substitution to take effect.  If you’ve been stalled with your receiving, don’t be afraid to consider the law of substitution. Remember that according to Ms. Shinn, there is no loss or sacrifice when the right idea is substituted for a wrong one.

Finding Help

I’m working on my final speech to earn my Advanced Communicator Bronze award at Toastmasters.  It’s an after-dinner speech called “Do the Impossible.”  One of my tips for accomplishing the impossible is to seek expert advice.  This suggestion also applies when we’re striving to receive something, as often acquiring our goal can seem impossible.

Thankfully help is all around us.  With care, you can locate good advice for free on the Internet, for example.  (Note the qualifier - with care!)  There are also experts and coaches for everything imaginable.  I have recently read two books by experts that are great resources for people when they need help.  The first is The Working Mommy’s Manual by Nicole Corning.  Nicole speaks from her own experience and offers a wide variety of ideas beginning with the pregnancy and continuing through raising children and keeping peace with the in-laws.  This is a terrific guide for mothers, fathers, and bosses who have working parents on their staff.

The other book is by one of my favorite authors, Steven Lane Taylor.  If you want to make life easier for yourself, read his book, Further Down The Stream: 101 More Tips for Living Life in the DivineFlow. It’s like a box of chocolates that doesn’t go to your hips or raise your blood cholesterol! 

If you’re looking for more help, check out the resources page of my website or email me.  I’m blessed to know experts in many fields that are sure to make it easier for you to receive with grace and ease.

You Can Get There from Here

Learning to receive with grace and ease involves many elements, as I mentioned last week.  Another critical skill is being able to keep moving forward when we don’t know the way.  If we’re alert, we can see the next step, but typically we can’t see very far down the road, no matter how hard we look.

You may recall Jack Canfield’s comments about this in the movie The Secret. He advised us to think about the headlights on our car.  We drive at night, sometimes only able to see 200 feet ahead of us.  We just keep going forward, with small sections of our path becoming clear as we progress.  In the 2012 Summer Olympics you may have heard a similar story told about Olympian Michael Phelps’ experience in the 2008 games where his goggles flooded during the first lap of one race.  Soon he was unable to see anything!  Being a champion, he continued to swim, counting his strokes all the way to a medal.

The lessons here are threefold: keep moving, use what you know, and have faith.  It’s appropriate to stop and wait for guidance, provided we don’t get stuck.  If fear is what keeps you from moving, it’s probably time to get going again.  Remember what you know; for Phelps, it was how many strokes he took in one lap.  We almost always know more than we realize.  Finally, have faith that the way will be made clear.  You really can get there from here.

The Stone Was Moved

To achieve the life we dream of, we need to learn how to receive with grace and ease.  This is a process involving numerous skills, and one of those is the ability to keep making progress even when it seems like we’re not capable of doing what we need to do.  We may lack the knowledge we need or maybe we don’t have the resources experts say are required.  This can leave us paralyzed by confusion and fear.  Perhaps we’ve taken on more than we’re up for.

When I find myself holding these thoughts, I love to remember the New Testament story from the gospel of Mark where the women went to Jesus’ tomb to anoint his body.  On the way there they worried about how they would roll away the large stone that sealed the tomb.  When they arrived, however, they found that the stone was already moved and their way was clear!  Furthermore they were told by an angel that Jesus had gone on to Galilee ahead of them, just as he had promised.

The thing to keep in mind is that the women didn’t let their concern prevent them from moving forward.  They gathered their spices and went to tomb. There they received exactly what they needed.  In addition, they were given the assurance that help and guidance were already in place, waiting to assist them as required.  Let us keep moving in the direction of our dreams, confident that the “stone” will be moved!

Darkest Just Before the Dawn?

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the time and place that the tide will turn.”  

Harriet Beecher Stowe, Novelist, 1811 - 1886

 Is it really darkest just before dawn?  I could not verify this, but it sure seems that way when we need to receive.  Based on the above quotation from Harriet Beecher Stowe, it appears she would have agreed.  I love her expression of hope, though!  In fact, my daughter gave me this quotation years ago, and I’ve had it taped on my desk ever since.
   

Persistence is critical when we are looking to receive.  Charles Fillmore thought so.  Consider the following words from this co-founder of the Unity movement: “There are many persons who will to be prosperous and who have made up their minds, as they think, very determinedly.  But they have not overcome all doubts, and when their demonstration is delayed, as it is in such cases, the doubt increases until they lose faith altogether.  What they need is more persistence and determination.”

   

If this issue speaks to you, recommit to claiming what you desire to receive-- an answer, a partner, greater prosperity, a buyer for your home--whatever it may be.  Make a list of the resources you have to help you stay in belief.  Include inspirational reading and music, friends you could contact who will stand with you, and your own list of previous experiences you’ve had receiving what you needed.  Finally, don’t forget to visit my blog at http://artandscienceofreceiving.blogspot.com/ to see all my posts on learning to receive with grace and ease.