Free to Give and Receive

As I frequently point out, giving typically bestows blessings on both the giver and the receiver.  These blessings are not automatic, however.  An essential element which allows the good to flow is that the giving and receiving be done freely.

There may be times that based on the situation, we feel obligated to give, to reciprocate for a gift or act of kindness we received.  We may be subjected to family expectations or feel pressured from our employer or a group to which we belong.  Similarly, we may be pressed to accept something that we’d rather not receive.  I’ve had clients tell me stories about someone they know who always insists on paying, for example.  Giving and receiving under these circumstances is likely to restrict the flow of good to both parties.  I encourage you to avoid it.

My favorite Shakespearean quotation applies here, “This above all: to thine ownself be true.”  When faced with a giving or receiving opportunity that causes you to resist, stop and examine where the resistance is coming from.  Is there a history of one-sided giving that you resent?  Does the giver tend to hold the gift against you?  Do you fear feeling obligated to that particular giver?  If so, can you have an authentic conversation that would allow you to proceed comfortably?  For the process to work, both giving and receiving need to occur freely, with grace and ease.