Our goal with this site and my upcoming book is for us to become skillful receivers, so that we can receive what we need and desire with grace and ease. Is receiving an art or a science? The definition of art includes the following: a skill, talent, knack, or ability; a creation by human endeavor rather than by nature; the application of techniques used by somebody in a particular field; or the ability to achieve things in a clever or shrewd way. Art involves finesse and creativity; it’s unique in its appearance and there is no one right way to go about it.
Science, on the other hand, is the study of the physical world, a systematic body of knowledge, or something studied or performed methodically. Science has a method and a process. It’s measurable and dependable: H20 is always water.
It seems to me that receiving well is both art and science. There are certain methods we can use to expand our opportunities to receive, such as forgiveness and releasing. Some are always appropriate, forgiveness is one, while others, releasing for instance, may not be. There may be some art or skill to knowing when it is time to let something or someone go. And even with a practice like forgiveness, the way it is accomplished can vary. Some things are easily forgiven, while other may take ongoing work and a different approach to finally resolve.
Yes, it seems that receiving takes a blend of art and science. Perhaps that’s one reason why it’s a habit many have yet to master, this author included!
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2 comments:
Hi, Joanne.
My sweetheart is a good example of using art and science to improve his not-natural ability to receive. For me, I have come to realize that it was a gift at birth (from fairygodparents?) that I could give AND receive. I like to say I am gifted to be a "Reasonable Hedonist."
I soon realized that while Michael was a gracious and generous giver, he was an ungracious receiver. However, he is also an excellent communicator and a trained Marriage & Family Therapist. Thus, he was receptive to my negotiating a deal with him: I would honor his discomfort with receiving by scaling way back on present-giving and choosing gifts about "experiences" that he could receive more easily (outings, framed photos from outings, his choosing something during an outing); he would learn to simply say, "Why, thank you, sweetheart!" instead of going on an anti-present, "I don't need more things" rant.
Thus, we used the art of communication with the science of negotiation!
Warmest,
Patricia Alexander
BLOG: patriciawords.blogspot.com
Co-Author with Michael Burgos: The Book of Comforts: Simple, Powerful Ways to Comfort Your Spirit, Body & Soul (weren't you an editor who looked at our book proposal?)
EMAIL: patricia@patriciaalexander.com
Congratulations on your wise approach. That is an excellent point for both learning to receive more gracefully and for dealing with someone who struggles with receiving: use the small step approach and tailor it to meet the receiver's needs. Thanks for this wonderful input!
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