It’s seems obvious, but I need to ask. Those of you who need or want something and haven’t received it, have you asked? It’s amazing how often we feel that others should just know what we need without being told. It doesn’t work that way.
People are pulled in as many directions as you are. There are so many draws on our attention. How can we possibly expect others to just anticipate our needs? Realistically, we can’t. Even Jesus advises us to ask. “Ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened for you. Everyone who asks will receive. Everyone who searches will find. And the door will be opened for everyone who knocks” (Matthew 7:7-8, Contemporary English Version).
Sometimes the problem is that we ourselves are not clear about what we want. I remember one time when I was a human resources director having a conversation with another director. He was experiencing trouble getting his assistant to offer the administrative support he desired. I asked him if she knew what he wanted. He thought for a moment and said, “no.” The way he responded prompted me to ask him if he knew what he wanted from her, and again he thought for few seconds and replied, “not really.” It’s no surprise then that she wasn’t able to meet his needs.
What is it you seek? It could be as simple as the opportunity to state your views, have some quiet time, or get some help with the dishes. Maybe it’s how you spend your birthday or Father’s Day. Or it could be something grander, such as a life partner or new career. Whatever it is, get clear about what you want first. Then determine to whom you need to make your request. Telling John that Susie doesn’t let you get a word in edgewise will not help – tell Susie! Stating our needs and desires is very empowering for us and very helpful for those around us. Give it a try. You might be surprised how willing people are to fulfill your request.
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