I've heard it said that most of us
think the same thoughts over and over again.
The problem is that often these are negative thoughts or memories that
serve no constructive purpose. If this
sounds familiar to you, here’s an exercise to try. Just as your computer has default settings,
create for yourself default thoughts that you can turn to as needed.
Construct a two-column chart, listing in
the left column the thoughts or memories you find yourself returning to that
you’d like to let go of. If it’s a negative
thought, identify the unpleasant memory behind it and write that down. For instance, “I’m such a klutz!” could be a
recurring thought you have based on the time you tripped walking into a crowded
room. So your list will be comprised of things
you or someone else did that continue to make you feel bad. Next to each item, in the right column write
down a specific example of something the individual did that was kind or positive. You might list “walked across the stage at
graduation with my head held high” across from the tripping incident. The right column will be your default
thoughts. Anytime you find yourself
drifting back to an unpleasant memory, immediately substitute your default
thought.
In reality, there are far more
positive incidents than negative, although it’s the nasty memories that seem to
linger. For instance, perhaps someone
you’re close to did something uncharacteristically unkind. For some reason you find yourself mulling the
incident over, replaying it as if eventually it will turn out differently. Because this is someone you care about, there
are likely to be many wonderful things this person has done for you. Chose one that you’re especially grateful for
as your default thought. Anytime you
find yourself drifting back to the unpleasant memory, immediately substitute
your default thought. Any feelings of
hurt or resentment will be replaced with gratitude and love. Not only will you feel better, you’ll put
yourself in a position to receive even more good.
No comments:
Post a Comment