The Discomfort of Receiving

Does it seem strange to you that there would be a blog and book written about receiving? If you look on Amazon.com, you will find many titles on giving and receiving, but none on just receiving. Well, to be accurate, this one also won’t be just about receiving either, because we can’t really look at receiving without talking about giving. They are two sides of the same coin. But, our emphasis will be on receiving. Why is that? Because most people have been taught that “it’s better to give than to receive,” so they conclude that giving is preferred. If you think about this, it just doesn’t make sense. For every giver, there has to be a receiver – otherwise, giving could not take place!

Unfortunately, the “God loves a cheerful giver” message has been so engrained in people that they just can’t get truly comfortable with receiving. It’s not unusual for people to be ill at ease receiving the most basic things, such as a complement or a free lunch. I remember witnessing an argument between two co-workers (who happened to be cousins, incidentally) about $3 one had gifted to the other. The receiver insisted on paying her co-worker back, and the giver kept refusing. This went on for several minutes until they were both angry.

What was really happening here? Were they each so uncomfortable receiving that having an argument in front of their office mates was preferable? Did each selfishly desire to have the good feelings we get when we give? Was one or both afraid of owing the other something in return? We’ll never know, but clearly they failed to realize that when they receive they are actually also giving – they give the other party the opportunity to be the giver and feel good about it.

This discomfort with receiving blocks many people from getting what they desire and sometimes even what they need. Prayers are answered in so many ways; we need to stay alert and open to receiving the answer and the blessing in whatever form it comes. I could go on and on, and I will, so stay with me.